Kristine Nichols

We all have told a white like or two in our days. If you are too honest, you look like a cruel person, and if you don’t tell enough of the truth, you look like a fake. There is a fine line between what is real and what is not. For example, if your boyfriend asks you if he is masculine even though he just painted your right hand nails for you. You can either say a) “Baby you are the manliest man I know!” Or b) “Sweetie, you act like one of the girls…” We sometimes powder the truth with a pleasant topping. Is this right or wrong?

            Since I am a girl I have heard every since excuse in the book for physical appearance. One time while getting ready for a night out on the town with the girls, I kept changing my mind on my outfit and make up. I asked my friend Heather for her opinion and she gave me the typical, “Kristine you look good, it’s time to go!” I strongly disagreed, and asked Ashley for the brutal honest answer. She came up with, “You look like you died and have risen back to life…” Although I had asked for this, when I actually heard those bitter words, my skin and emotion become quite tender. Fabricated answers are now known as the truth because we tend to spare the hurt for others. This leads to only telling others the half-truth.

            Should we consider the half-truth the full truth for the sake of other’s feelings? By fabricating every answer, you are letting these people believe something for the rest of their lives that may not be the truth. Doesn’t the guilt build up that you are letting this person be happy on false pretences? Is there enough justification behind your action? You have to be right in between. No one truly knows the definition of the truth anymore. We all make up our own meanings with little tweaks here and there to help us feel better about not letting it all out. We are so obsessed with others liking us and not thinking badly of us, we lose ourselves in the reoccurring cycle of little white lies.

            On the other hand there are people who tell you absolutely what comes to their mind when they first see or are asked something. Verbal diarrhea has infected many people, and shown how it is possible to go overboard with the truth. When you purposily pick out flaws of someone or something and release your feelings with a nasty tone, you are only trying to be cruel and demeaning. The way to level out this harsh and overly sugared decision is to be able to tell what you are thinking with some consideration. Instead of saying “Those jeans make your butt look like its own planet!” Or “I love those jeans on you, they make your butt look very nice.” You could say, “I don’t think those jeans are very flattering to your body type, what about that skirt you bought last week?” By letting out your thoughts in a sensitive way, you aren’t sugarcoating or being far too harsh. My mother always told me that the truth sometimes hurts, but it is always better than living a lie.

            We all say we want to have friends or spouses who are 100 percent truthful. There is no such person who doesn’t lie. We all do it whether we think we are lying or not. You expect others to treat you the way you are treated, so when they lie to you how is that any different than when you only tell half the truth? You learn in math class that a half is not a full. How is it any different in this situation?

Only you can draw your line of truth and pick which side you want to reside on. People do this subconsciously, like it a self-defense technique. How do we bring this to our conscious state and realize when enough is enough? The truth is supposed to be the easiest way to deal with things, when in reality it is only the hardest thing to do. God didn’t build us with truth meters, so we have to decide for ourselves how to determine the exact amount. What will you choose?

The Typical Teenage girl

The blood started pulsing through my heart and veins. Every hair on my body was erect. Beads of sweat started slithering down my forehead, mixing with of tears. I knew I was over reacting, and acting hysterical, but the tears wouldn’t stop. They had a mind of their own, and weren’t planning on stopping anytime soon.

I became alert when the sound of booming size 12 Adidas prowled down the hallway. I counted to five Mississippi slowly, trying to pull myself together. There were three pounds against the hollow wooden door. With hesitation I was able to let out a small dry “yes,” even though I truly wanted to let yell ‘go away. I hate you. Leave!’ I gasped for air, suddenly forgetting how to use my lungs properly. My eyes filled with apprehension as his flushed face approached me. I clenched my teeth, held my knees to my chest with my arms and swayed front to back. This is one of those moments where adults always tell you to go to your happy place. Somewhere with unicorns, candy, and fairies.

            I peered up with my saturated eyes. I could see his face, fiercely stern and his jaw locked, every chiseled bone. As his eyes squinted in disappointment, I prepared myself for the battle of wounding words. As every verbal bullet pierced my quaking body, I flinched with despair. Once he was out of ammo, I tried to plead my case. Trying to flip my voice box switch upward, I stuttered with a shaky ‘because… I don’t know why I did it Dick, I just had the sudden urge to check your myspace messages.”  I tried to apologize. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have. It ‘s all my fault.” He shook his head as my father used to when I was being punished. A mixture of confusion and regret rolled over my face. I knew exactly what was going through his head. The thoughts were seeping out of his pores.  He shot one last verbal bullet and departed. A few seconds later I heard his cream Camry purr to life than sputter out of the driveway.

            I grasped my wooden dresser with my lifeless hand, trying to lift my paralyzed body up from the rugged carpet. My body was an anchor holding down my pride; not even the most vicious sea current would pull me away. I quickly re-evaluated my plan and placed my head onto scratchy ground. This lashing battle had been one of many. Any sane girl would be laughing right now. I wondered why I was not immune to the bullets and pain by now? I shook my head, pretending to shake the thoughts out my over packed mind. I began to think logically, realizing the holes in his argument. Why was he mad that I had caught him cheating? Why was I taking the beating for it? Why wasn’t I the one dramatically storming off? This couldn’t be love; I have seen every single sappy love movie since I was a young girl. Juliet never needed a bulletproof vest to protect against Romeo’s words. I had turned into the typical “teenage girl.”  I remember reading ‘He is just not that into you,” and laughing. Even though the book couldn’t talk back I would always spit out phrases like ‘Ha, sweetie he doesn’t care for you, you’re an idiot’ or ‘Hey retard, move on, it’s not worth it.’ Without my noticing, I was vertical and glided toward my window shaded by the golden curtains. A jolt of confidence pulsed through my body.

            Ringing filled the air as I reached in my pocket for the cheap silver flip phone. The corners of my mouth crept toward my cheeks with an evil sensation. He let out a harsh, “hello!” I felt the bulletproof vest appear for the first time, and with confidence I spoke “Hello sweetie, I would like to remind you that I was not the one caught cheating. Even though I shouldn’t have taken away your privacy, that doesn’t give you the right to spout off irrationally. I have had enough of these battles; there are too many wounds that haven’t healed. You no longer are boyfriend material, and I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone. Thank you. Take care.” I closed the phone, and felt the corners of my mouth start to rise once again as I threw the battery to the phone on the ground. Was this really the end? This wasn’t like the movies; I didn’t feel sick to my stomach or have the need to kill myself. I felt happy and strong, like nothing could come in the way.

I jumped up and walked over to my old brown dresser, opened the top left drawer and pulled out my favorite gray running shorts. Without hesitation I slipped them on to my prickly legs. I moved quickly to my closet and picked the tattered green high school volleyball shirt, pulled it over my head, and fastened myself into my plain running sneakers. I was always told that running can help release unwanted energy, and I figured this was the perfect situation to become one with the ground. I glided through the door and down the hallway that once seemed cursed. I swiftly snatched my iPod off the rectangular coffee table, placing the earphones in each ear, and off I went. Each stride felt more powerful than the last as I made my way through the driveway and down the street. Focusing on the heartbeat of my feet to the pavement, as all my negative thoughts replaced with those of rational thinking, I had created my own movie, ending, and plot. I now believe in healthy relationships, and breaking old habits.

I learned the definition of the word happy when I was probably 2 years old. Happy seems like such a simple word, but there is so much more to it. To be truly happy takes a lot of work and effort. To be happy you have to be happy with your life, yourself, and your surroundings. You have to enjoy what you do for a living, who you hang out with, who your spouse is, and how event happen in your life. When you are younger it is so simple to be happy. If you fall down and scrape your knee there is always a grown up giving you and ice cream for not crying, and for some reason it always made it better. As you grow up your problems become much more than a scrape on you knee. You whole life could change if you don’t do something right. You start to learn what true stress is, and how it can take a toll on your life. Once you find happiness you will know, because you will feel as if nothing can bring you down. You will be able to turn every negative into a positive, and you will always want to have a smile on your face whether or not its appropriate. In order to achieve this you have to remember that things could be so much worse. You have to realize how special you are and what you truly deserve. You have to let go of what is bringing you down, and go find something that will only lift you up. Most of the drama that circles our life is not needed and could easily be avoided, so don’t sweat the small things and push forward for you happiness.